Gangs of Wasseypur : Could be your new favorite !

I generally write review of a movie, in which I can find some absurdities or which is out-rightly ridiculous (like this review of Ra-One), but Gangs of Wasseypur is going to be an exception here, after-all it was an exceptional movie. Is it the most enjoyable movie of our times? The answer to it depends on which state you are from because only then could you understand, co-relate and enjoy the dialogues and situations in the movie. If you are from UP/Bihar then this could definitely be the one as it would run through you all the cheesy punch lines that you would have heard in your school/college time but might have forgotten now, living in the concrete jungles of metropolitan cities running the IT circus.


But make no mistake, after watching Gangs of Wasseypur, those few who had doubts about the potential of Manoj Bajpayee's acting potential would realise what they have been missing so far. Serious movie-buffs always knew the gold in him. This could well be the turning point of Manoj Bajpayee's acting career albeit the actor has delivered some fine performances in the past. I remember listening to his interview on FM a couple of years ago, in which he narrated how he fled from his home to the tinsel town to become Amitabh Bacchhan. I am sure, both Manoj and Big B will be proud of this memorable performance.

कह के ले ली मनोज बाजपाई नें

Coming to the movie itself, don't be surprised if you loose track of the plot, because of the duration of the movie or the complex family tree depicted, but not for a single moment will you feel disconnected despite it being a 2 hour 40 minutes affair. Each and every dialogue, and let me tell you again in bold and capital, EACH AND EVERY DIALOGUE of Gangs of Wasseypur is legendary, an absolute joy.  The ease with which Manoj Bajpayee had carried himself throughout the movie, delivering both utterly heartless crime scenes as well as ridiculously humorous scenes is commendable. The funny manner in which he defends himself when his wife catches him cheating on her and the way he woos his to-be second wife Reema Sen was ROFL material. Needless to mention, after watching a string of silly remakes, Gangs of Wasseypur was a huge sigh of relief for a movie lover like me. 


A look at the star-cast for this movie is enough to promise you quality acting performance. Nawazzudin Siddiqui who was brilliant in Kahaani as Inspector Khan was equally good here again if not better. In him Bollywood has surely found a Naseeruddin Shah for the future. Piyush Mishra with his lyrics, music and acting is sure to remind you of his earlier Gulaal, which was another fabulous movie. 


If watching the movie was not fun enough, the crowd's running commentary was the icing on the cake. Of-course the public nature of this blog doesn't allows me to mention those comments here but the one that I could mention here is 'Abey yeh to alu bum rahe Diwali-wala'. I could not recall how many times I was in splits listening to the dialogues going on the screen and off it.


A definitely 4.5/5 movie, Gangs of Wasseypur is a must must watch, although it is highly recommended that you choose your company to the movie with due care and diligence. Yes, very soon some mindless SRK/Akshay Kumar movie will hit the theaters, which will make crore of rupees and all this will be forgotten, but until then let's enjoy the quality that Manoj Bajpayee-Anurag Kashyap showcases in Gangs of Wasseypur. 


P.S. Don't forget to watch this movie for the second time on your personal computer in peace, because it's impossible not to miss some dialogues in the theater with the crowd clapping and laughing like crazy.

Rowdy Rathore: A surprisingly safe-to-watch Akshay Kumar movie !

First of all, let me tell you that it's never easy to go out and watch a Akshay Kumar flick, particularly when you haven't watched 12 of his last 13 ones. Lucky me! Nevertheless, I undertook this high risk task so that you know what's coming at you and I must say that I was pleasantly rewarded. Rowdy Rathore which has two male actors in Akshay Kumar and Sonakshi Sinha is most certainly a one time watch. Although the movie as a whole is far from jaw-dropping, but some dialogues/scenes are genuinely humorous albeit corny. A definite 3.5/5 !


As usual, I would not get into the technicalities of the movie, but just point out certain things which I found disturbingly amusing. The points ahead will serve as spoilers, but don't worry, it's not like you are missing on some Oscar winning flick.


1) Akshay Kumar, following the hot trend of a moustache sporting police officer with Ray Ban Aviator sunglasses, is in a double role in the movie. One is a police officer who is murdered and replaced by another one (not by villain) after days or weeks or even months later by the other Akshay Kumar who happened to be, surprise surprise, a petty thief! Of-course in such cases nobody in the police department cares to find about the officer in the days he was missing. But I guess, that's okay. Stranger things have happened in Bollywood movies (Reference: RaOne). But the more essential point here is that where are these good-looking and supremely fit policemen coming from. This piece of news although seems to paint a different picture.


2) Now you must not be thinking that how was the policewala Akshay Kumar murdered. Well, it's simple. He fights and kill some 100 goons and dies in the process. But that's the usual prowess of a Bollywood hero. The unusual part is that the policewala Akshay Kumar was suffering from some rare kind of brain condition which he acquired while he was being, guess what, shot in the brain !! Stop laughing and read ahead, there is plenty more. So because of this acute brain condition, the policewala Akshay Kumar sometimes feels dizzy while jack-hammering goons (The movie even zooms his brain and shows the particular cell which bleeds). So now what does our hero do? He just puts some water on his head and regains original composure and pummels another 20-30 goons. Ya, that's it! Simple, isn't it? A knife stabbed in the back, a harpoon in the chest, a couple of bullets here and there is not a problem, Dispirin will take care of that. 

A rare event in Bollywood movies where more
 than one goon attacks the hero. Ofcourse they
 were all blown away after exactly half a second.

3) This is an old one. Our hero manhandles atleast a dozen of goons who ofcourse attack him one by one. Even Lord Rama, with his favorite arrow (the one that emits fluorescent light), cannot do this after reading all his and Ravana's mantras, combined !! And in the songs, our heroine as usual makes an entry by running down in he stairs in one direction, while the support dancers in the background run in the opposite direction. Not to mention, that there will always be a strong velocity westerly wind blowing towards her face. Didn't you ever notice how the poor background dancers are made to wear such dull dresses to highlight our heroines? If the directors had it their way, they would chop of the ears and noses of these dancers just to make our heroine look acceptable. Although, one might argue that Sonakshi Sinha, with her physique, doesn't needs any highlighting.


4) This one is for all the ladies out there. So ladies, what if a young (well, not exactly) and good-looking (again, not exactly) guy like Akshay Kumar flirts with you and even tell you that he is a petty thief? You find a problem with him being a thief, not even a standard gangster which in turn would have atleast guaranteed you some kind of glamour? Well, our Sonakshi Sinha certainly didn't have a problem with that:


Sonakshi Sinha: "Yeh to batao, ki tum karte kya ho?"
Chorwala Akshay Kumar: "Chor hun. Choti-moti chori karta hun."
Sonakshi Sinha: "Theek hai. Lekin vaada karo ki ab chori nahi karoge."


Theek hai!! Theek hai?? Sala yahan Software Engineer bolo to koi ghaas bhi nahi daalti hai aur Chor k liye Theek Hai !!


Now I must stop, as depression has taken over my passion (a word I use very loosely) of writing. Ciao!!

Why Saas-Bahu Soaps are a pain in the ass!

Today we will not focus on the problem because the problem relates back to women, dealing with whom is out of scope of this article and also the universe. So let's just focus on what makes this problem a problem. Let me begin by telling you all that I get exposed to this Saas-Bahu bullshit just twice a year i.e. when I am visiting my native on vacation. One might argue that this is not a very 'high' frequency but trust me, considering the 'quality' of bullshit, it indeed cranks up-to intolerable levels. 


Now keeping up with my legendary habit of bullshitting around (Boy, bulls all over the world have suddenly run into diarrhea today or what!) before coming to the crux of the matter, let me explain to you that why this post was long overdue. You might be wondering why are these Saas-Bahu soaps such a big pain in the ass for me even though I am subjected to this nonsense just twice a year. But unlike me, you don't see the larger picture. You see, let me put across my point using a slightly peculiar analogy. Think of Ekta Kapoor as Osama Bin Laden, Balaji Productions as Al-Qaeda and all the various soap series as the terrorist training camps. What makes this as a life-endangering issue for me is that it is going to be me who would be caught in the line of fire: My mother has been watching all these soaps religiously for years, getting trained for the Saas role, and I'm more than certain, that in some corner of the country, my would-be wife too would be watching these and training herself for the Bahu role. There, now you see why I am a worried man.


But the humble being that I am, I will not allow my personal future worries to hog the limelight on this platform which is specifically dedicated for the social welfare. Therefore, allow me to compile just a few aspects of these Saas-Bahu soaps which raise the stupidity bar each day of the week, higher and higher till a Salman Khan flick hits the theaters:


(Not necessarily in the increasing order of stupidity)


#1: First of all my favorite one: Whenever a shocking event unfolds in these soaps, the camera will show each and every member of the family with that 'astonished' expression. Of-course you are not allowed to question why are all the members of these huge family always together.


#2: I know all females swear by their favorite serials. Now I am not questioning the integrity of women. No sir, No! But try asking them about how their favorite serial ended and you will find that they will draw a blank. Yes, that's a proven fact. No living soul remembers how their favorite serial ended that's because stupidity beats patience. Nobody remembers how 'Tara' ended or how 'Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahut Thi' ended. 

A case in point: The highly innocent
Prerna Bahu (Shweta Tiwari) 

#3: There will always be a generous character in the serial, you know of 'Tulsi' or 'Parvati' or 'Prerna' kind, who will always be engaged in the welfare of the entire world. Be it the family of the bride's side or groom's side, nobody will ever come to know of any trouble brewing in the family except for this generous character. Starting from a family member diagnosed with a life threatening disease to a family member who has 2-3 illicit wives and children, only this Mother Teresa of a character needs to worry. Needless to mention, that all the other females in the soap will be hating this character. 


#4: (Perhaps my second favorite this one) Haven't you ever noticed that the characters in these dorky serials talk so much to themselves. Who has this much freaking time and it breaks all the stupidity barriers when they talk to themselves by speaking out loud too (to ensure that it is heard to).


#5: Although I belong to a middle-class family, I have been to affluent people's houses but I have never ever seen all family members at all points of time being dressed in such tip-top manner with full make-up. The kind of heavy Bappi Lahiri-like jewellery that the bahus are shown wearing while preparing Dhokla in the kitchen is quite extra-ordinary, not to mention stupid. And those ba and dadis, man! They might go through a day having missed their catheter but the lipstick shade is never lost. Again, you can blame my middle-class upbringing to have this perception.


#6: So what do you do when you have to open yourself to someone, I mean if you have to confide in somebody or reveal a secret to someone that has been eating you from inside? You walk up to the person and say so, after guaranteeing enough privacy right? No No No No, in the Saas-Bahu soap world that's a taboo. That's something against the common etiquette here. If you have to talk secretly then you must ensure that the door is not locked or if the door is locked mistakenly then atleast there should be a window open, or else how will the other bahu/saas/bhabhi or any other member of the party which is always plotting against you will listen to the secret right? So never say again that soap-makers don't think of a plot. They do, mindless yes, but they do. 


#7: Talking about secrets, I am sure this one would have frustrated you many a times. I know I will not be able to explain the scenario in mind as succinctly as I would have liked, but nevertheless. Scenario: Girl wants to tell her father about her love affair but gets interrupted by somebody or the other everytime. This continues till a big function is arranged, of-course for no apparent reason, in which her demented father announces her engagement to a different guy and all hell breaks loose. WOW!! Have any of you seen this in real life?


#8: How do you open a door on hearing a bell or a knock? You ask who is it or you peep through the peephole or in the worst case you open the door tentatively trying to get the glimpse of the person as soon as possible right? But that's not how it works in the Saas-Bahu soap world. They open the door looking at the floor slowly raising their face to be startled to find their ex-hubby/ex-lover (both must not have undergone plastic surgery in this case) standing their. Hope you noticed this one before!


#9: I would like to end it with a point about the latest trend in the serials. My inside sources tell me that off-late the usual pattern of Saas being the bad one has been overtaken by Bua or Dadi-Bua character. Is it true?


P.S. The author has 'nervously' assumed that there aren't 'many' Ekta Kapoor fans who will feel offended reading this article. Also, the author has 'safely' assumed that there aren't 'any' Tushar Kapoor fans who love him so much that they will feel offended for his sister.


P.P.S. Any females or males who are about to hit the 'comment' section in a range of anger to throw profanities at me must understand that there is something called as the 'Comment Moderation' feature. Yes, I use this feature primarily to avoid the truth but also because it is consistent with the rest of my personality of being a 'Coward'. Happy frustration sisters!