Gujaratis' response to Ra.One and much more!

I love Gujarati people for the colorful manner in which they celebrate festivals and the unity with which they stay together as one big family. No wonder most of the soaps these days feature Desai, Parikh families etc. But I am not a fan of watching cinema in Gujarat cos the crowd tends to get very noisy on seeing the hero making an entry, though if you compare to Bangalore, the theaters here in Ahmedabad are of better quality and half the price.


However when I watched Ra.One here in Ahmedabad, I observed two things. First was that nobody cheered on SRK's entry in the movie which is always a characteristic of intelligent people. Second was people's reaction as soon as the movie got over. This is something I always wait to notice so as to ensure that my reaction is in sync with the rest of the lot. Although I must say that more often than not I find myself on the opposite side of the rest of the audience but in the case of Ra.One we were all together on one side, like a big distressed family. The look on the faces was more of treachery than shock. It was as if they were promised a summer vacation camp but led to a concentration camp instead.


Nevertheless, I must say I am a relieved man after the release of Ra.One cos to be honest it was really pissing me off to see SRK on each-n-every darned channel telling his tales of bravery and chivalry, telling why people should watch the movie and how he wants to bring technology to Bollywood so as to pull it up to Hollywood's standards. If I could recall correctly, in one of the interviews he blabbered: 'I made this movie for that one Indian boy working in New York and that one Indian girl studying in London who could proudly tell their friends while watching Ra.One that this was made in India.' So for me, now its all up-to the Indian boys working in New York and Indian gals studying in London to come up with a suitable explanation if in case they happen to accidentally watch the movie with their white friends. I guess the Indian embassy in UK and US is pretty soon going to get some nasty calls.


Also I fail to understand why the King of Bollywood always needs the Multi-Star clutches to walk his movie. As in Om Shanti Om, even in Ra.One you will get to see a plethora of movie stars. The guy knows the tricks of his trade well. He even roped in Rajinikanth for a meaningless 1 minute scene so that he could also milk the Rajini-crazy South Indian audiences who wouldn't have otherwise chosen to see Ra.One. As one of my friends rightly said 'Ra.One is a 2.5 hr Rajini movie with guest appearance from SRK for 2 hrs and 29 minutes.'

Viewers feel that they paid a very heavy price for watching
the chubby look of Kareena in that dazzling pallu-less saree!

(Spoiler Alert) Coming to the actual movie, the very idea of a Super-Hero safeguarding only his own family is flawed. That is not a Super-Hero, that is mean! I guess SRK typecasted the idea to suit his personal lifestyle. Is it a sequel to the Nerolac paints ad: 'Papa tum tak kuch bhi harmful nahi pahuchne denge!' Needless to say that SRK even in a robotic avatar displays his trademark fake smile with S-shaped eye brows. What will add to your misery as a viewer is that there are some pretty out-rightly sleazy scenes and dialogues which is always something to avoid when you are with your family.


Anyway I would stop here and let the equally meaningless media do its bit to scrutinize Ra.One. I know it takes a lot of hard work to make a movie but as they say sometimes we miss the wood for the trees. But that would not in any way prevent me from visualizing Salman and Amir having a small celebration somewhere.


P.S. I can safely assume that a teeny-weeny brain cell of at-least one of you readers may be beginning to ask me 'Who the hell asked you for a review?' To which my standard reply is 'Who the hell invited you to read my review? So eff off !'


P.P.S. Only I realize the risk that I am undertaking by mocking SRK in my already flopped The Silent Commentator blog cos lets face it, although you and I could see through things but there are still many jerks around who idolize SRK.


Lux Cozi ki taraf se aapko Happy Diwali!