Office dude wonders who’s the one left out who hasn’t seen his iPhone!

Bangalore. Ever since Alpagya Shukla, a senior coder working in the mobile software firm Volcano, got his iPhone 4, he has been on an indefinite mission to show it to all his colleagues. A pain in the ass for everyone for the past two weeks, Alpagya reported early today that probably there was one person still left out in the office, whom he has not been able to show his new phone.

“I guess it’s that guy with French-cut beard in accounts department,” Alpagya tried to conclude as he struck off names off a list of employees obtained from HR department. Sources say that Alpagya was handed out the list by an HR executive after he couldn’t put up with two hours of unsolicited tutorial on iPhone applications that Alpagya was giving to him.

Sources say that Alpagya had shown his iPhone
to his colleagues with a similar pose and with a
similar smile on his face, when he brought
it to his office for the first time.

“It was a couple of weeks back when Alpagya acquired an iPhone and since then the office has become a concentration camp,” said Prasanna Raghavan, who is Alpagya’s unfortunate colleague at the workplace. “It started with him sending us pointless documents about how Apple got its strange name and iconic logo with a bite,” recalls Prasanna, who still gets nightmares of the ‘Tip Calculator’ application tutorial that Alpagya gave, whenever he sees a waiter in a restaurant.

Rohan Sripad, another colleague, seconds Prasanna, “Alpagya has been a showy guy right from the beginning. Just that now he chooses to tell time to a bystander from his iPhone, as compared to two weeks back when he would take out his white MacBook to do the same.”

Faking News has learned that Alpagya’s colleagues have started calling him “iPhoney” owing to his loud and cheesy habit of flaunting his iPhone. Some of them have even ‘unliked’ the ‘Hey US! India Is Not Your Dumping Ground!‘ Facebook page that was created by Alpagya prior to buying his iPhone 4.

Alpagya however defends his actions and terms his colleagues as envious.

“These are the same guys who were envious when I had got a promotion. They just can’t see anyone being superior to them,” said an overwhelmed Alpagya. But sources confirm that Alpagya was not given a promotion in the last two appraisals, and in fact he had been living like a dejected soul till he got his phone.

“This iPhone has made Alpagya rise like a phoenix from the ashes,” Rohan said, “Or maybe he would call it iAshes!”

But Alpagya maintains that those finding his actions annoying and frustrating are iDiots.

This article was first published by me on Faking News. Here is the Link

Software engineer ‘reports abuse’ his manager on Facebook after appraisal!

Bangalore. In an incident, the first of its kind, a software engineer has reported his manager’s Facebook profile for abuse. Mukul Bhati, an employee of Tata Consultancy Services (TCS), was reportedly peeved over the appraisal rating given to him by his manager Kumar Padmanabh (KP).

Working as a Junior Software Engineer in TCS for the last eight years, Mukul who joined the IT giant as a fresher, had almost reconciled himself to the harsh verdict but the latest status update from KP, proved to be the last straw for Mukul.

“I would be a billionaire if I was looking to be a selfish boss. That’s not me!” – was the status set by KP that forced Mukul to take the extreme step. For someone who comes across as a relatively timid guy, this was a David’s blow to Goliath.

These two steps on Facebook gave
a lot of satisfaction to Mukul

“I have no regrets. On the contrary I feel free like a superman,” said an unrepentant Mukul. He adds, “I was very buoyant before the start of the appraisal meeting this time as my performance had literally ticked all the check-boxes present in the Expectations List. But it was all over for me as soon as KP started the meeting with the remark,‘Mukul you have performed well this time and I am very happy with your efforts.’”

The legend has it that whenever KP starts an appraisal meeting by praising your efforts, your appraisal grade has disaster written all over it. No wonder that in the step that follows reporting a person on Facebook, Mukul chose the option ‘This person is pretending to be someone else or is fake‘.

Oblivious to this latest development, the boss KP, in his routine fit of Facebook frenzy, was busy creating a new page that he would subsequently ask all his office sub-ordinates to ‘like’. It was then, while he was trying to share the link to the newly created page titled ‘Management lessons from KP’ with everyone, that the reality dawned upon him as he noticed Mukul’s name missing from the friend’s list.

Completely unmoved by the incident, KP says with a dismissive shrug, “Suffering from delusions of technical adequacy, Mukul was never the brightest bulb in the chandelier to begin with. Add to that his lack of height and a loud voice, the quality of leadership deserted him as well. He really thought getting piles for the project is a sufficient indication of commitment? Poor kid!”

Mukul however has received tremendous support from other fellow TCS engineers, receiving a whopping 129 friend requests since the incident. Although much to the sorrow of many of Mukul’s friends who wanted to ‘like’ this gesture of Mukul’s daredevilry on Facebook, they realized that reporting a person doesn’t comes as a status update. They have however stopped being KP’s neighbors in Farmville.

This article was first published by me on Faking News. Here is the Link