Kanpur front runner to become the “gaali capital” of India !!

Kanpur. With cuss words i.e. “gaalis” becoming acceptable and valuable in public life thanks to movies like Bbuddah Hoga Terra Baap and Delhi Belly of late, the hunt for “gaali capital” of India has started. And the city of Kanpur appears to have taken the lead with local youth laying a claim over the title.

“At least 68% of the currently used gaalis in movies and parks have their roots in Kanpur,” Rajjan, the newly appointed president of Kanpur Youth Association, Bachelors Edition (KYA-BE) claimed, “and the average age of people in Kanpur who employ maa-behen dialect in day-to-day conversation is nine for males and twelve for females.”

KYA-BE was formed last week to help Kanpur city and dehat win the status of “gaali capital” of India just like Bangalore had earlier won the status of “IT capital” and Kolkata was crowned the “bandh capital” of the country.

“No father in Kanpur gets out of his family car to give gaali to Ravindra Jadeja,” Rajjan said, referring to the television ad for Volkswagen Passat, “Little kids join their dads here and call all cricketers chutiyaas in bindaas style.”

A Kanpur girl was shown using swear words in
a Bollywood movie earlier, something that
reassured the local youth of the superpower
status of the city within the country.

The response to the call has been mixed.KYA-BE president has called on all political parties to support his organization’s demands and help Kanpur get the much deserved recognition.

Samajwadi Party is all in favor of this social uprising and sources suggest that the party is already mulling over launching a “gaali do” campaign against the Mayawati government for having neglected Kanpur.

This has led BSP to oppose the demand while BJP, as always, has still not been able to make up its mind on the strategy to adopt in Uttar Pradesh.

On the other hand, Congress seems to be having some reservations over the issue. Congress general secretary Digvijay Singh was quick to express his dislike, “I am all in favor of keeping a check on one’s tongue (sic.)!”

“Bhaad mein jaaye woh,” Rajjan responded when Faking News informed him of Digvijay Singh’s opposition. The youthful KYA-BE president is hopeful of impressing Rahul Gandhi and is planning to invite Rahul to Kanpur to witness slew of impromptu gaalis that Kanpurians can come up with.

“Let Rahul Baba come, we will show him our talents and force him to join us,” said a confident Rajjan mixing his Chaini Khaini, “If he wishes so, we can arrange for an exclusive group of dalit youths coming up with gaalis. Kanpurians, whether Dalits, Brahmins, Muslims, or belonging to any community, are all one on this issue.”

Activists belonging to KYA-BE claim that if the city successfully wins the title of “gaali capital” of India, this could be its biggest achievement since hosting an international cricket match in 2009. “We are confident and planning for huge celebrations,” said a panting Chhotu who had just chased out a dozen pigs into captivity.

However the going may not be so easy and smooth for the city as motley youth groups in various other cities are gearing up to challenge Kanpur. Sources inform that some groups in Patna and Varanasi have already started circulating ‘gaali cards’ on the lines of ‘greeting cards’ among the residents to set up the mood for the final showdown.

This article was first published by me on Faking News. Here is the Link